Monday, April 8, 2013

Sometimes Not News Just Pops Up and We Have to Share - Girls Like Big Things

Been off the not news beat for a while, but today's NBC News tweet got us twittering like tweens.
 
Here you go kids! Smile Big!

 
 Turns out the article is interesting because it explains the why of the no duh. A larger man member lends itself to a certain kind of oxytocin releasing that makes a woman bond more with her mate and the product they procreate.
 

 Read The Full Length Story Here:
 
 
Now back to work, since I no longer have the luxury of sitting at home with my cats making fun of the news all day. #MissingGradSchool

Friday, August 10, 2012

Doctors Writing Pot Prescriptions for People Who Might Not Have Glaucoma

Sometimes - (like every coupla months apparently) - things hit the presses that are simply NOT NEWS and I get tickled by hilarity. Tonight, I just so happened to be cruising the web (in between surfing online dating profiles trying oh so hard to find a guy who doesn't eat ramen as 4th meal) and came across NBC4's latest smoke blowing NOT NEWS story.

Turns out apparently sometimes "pharmacists" who sell pot by way of medical dispensaries, might be selling it to people who are not like actually sick.... And like maybe the doctors who prescribe the stuff might actually not be all like official. Because really people, legalizing marijuana is about medical reasons...

So if you haven't already gone to bed, because you smoked your "prescription" for that back pain, be sure to tune into NBC 4 LA Local ThingsThatAreNotNews tonight at midnight.... It's sure to be a doobie.

Weed - It's not just for sick people.


I get high on your Not News Tips: infinitevitalitygirl@gmail.com

Friday, May 11, 2012

Breaking Not News: Tebow talks to the media

Dear New York Post,
I know it's a Tim Tebow kind of world and whenever Tim Tebow speaks the world should listen, but you CANNOT - I mean seriously CANNOT consider

"Tebow talks to the media"

a headline..... AND I LIKE TIM TEBOW!!! 

When you then run the video and it's totally obvi your reporter was recording with an iPhone and no microphone..... you are making it crystal clear for bloggers everywhere that we could actually kick your tail on news scoops and coverage.

No editing, no powerful quotes, just a dreamy God loving Tebow musing endlessly to reporters simply is NOT news.

For goodness sakes, you have budgets don't you?

Love,
Things That Are Not News


Want to watch him ramble sorta unintelligibly?
hit up: www.nypost.com then go to videos.





It's time I got Not Newsing Again
Tips? Send Cash: infinitevitalitygirl@gmail.com


Saturday, January 28, 2012

I'm sick of these mother lovin CATS ON A PLANE!!!!!!

Yes - I've been off the not news beat for a bit, and my goodness I've missed the hilarity. It's time to get not newsing again and I'll start with my favorite feline story of the week. 


Mischievous Mr. Ripples grounded a flight when he decided to crawl about the cockpit on a recent Air Canada flight. There's a pun there - but it's just too overt and would most definitely raise my mother's eyebrows.... (you know...cockpit.... the other word for cat.... ok never mind, I'll leave it be.)

At first I thought it might just be the silly folks (whom I adore) on local news, but since this story has made its way to the Today show and now ABC News - it's definitely a not newsworthy mention!!



Purrrrrfectly ridiculous!

 

Have you ever been on a plane with a cat? Please - tell me why!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

FAA To Probe Sky Diving Porn Shoot & Newscasters like to say "Porn Star"

Turns out porn stars do naughty things in unexpected places but are smart enough not to break laws doing it...... WHAT?!?!?!?!


This one has made the television news rounds simply because it gives all the media outlets the chance to say porn star. "Porn Star, Porn Star, Porn Star." It also helps that there is a video flying around the internet.
 
"When porn star and weekend skydiving instructor Alex Torres (a.k.a Voodoo) decided to film himself and Skydive Taft receptionist Hope Howell doing the deed at thousands of feet above ground, it seemed like they had covered all the bases.

According to KGET, they filmed the stunt in the very early morning where no one could be disturbed and no public nudity complaints could be thrown their way. "


http://www.abc6onyourside.com/shared/newsroom/top_stories/videos/wsyx_vid_13972.shtml 

A couple weeks ago there was another big kerfuffle in Los Angeles about Firefighters lending their trucks for porn shoots as well.  We can hardly be surprised.







In conclusion

Fire fighters and Dare Devil Porn Stars are: 
A) A pretty common fantasy - so this is NOT news.
B) Really good at promoting viral media.
C) This year's best Halloween costume?
                                                                 

MSN Coverage of sky diving: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/44898532/ns/us_news-weird_news/#.Tp18DHHYRW4


Firefighter Porn Shoot Story: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2011/10/05/national/main20116166.shtml


Have you stumbled across a porn shoot lately?
Let's make it Not News: infinitevitalitygirl@gmail.com

Monday, October 17, 2011

Breaking News: Victoria's Secret Model Arrested



Ok - this is a silly one today. But I'm just getting my Things That Are Not News shoes back on and this one makes me laugh. Yes, it's just a trick of the interweb ad servers .... or is it?!?!?!?

Wanna see the real celeb mug shots? (Don't worry I won't judge you) http://www.ktla.com/news/landing/sns-celeb-mugshots-pg,0,4772863.photogallery

Things That Are Not News are best served in PJs